Andrew
Aitken Rooney (popularmente conhecido como Andy
Rooney; Albany, Nova York 14 de Janeiro de 1919
- Cidade de Nova York,
Nova York,
5 de Novembro de 2011)
foi um locutor de rádio
e escritor de televisão americano. Ele é mais notável pela sua transmissão semanal "Alguns Minutos com Andy
Rooney", uma parte do programa de 60 minutos "Notícias CBS desde
1978".
O sexo é um tema inesgotável, como a humanidade; Vejamos as conclusões atribuidas a este jornalista de enorme notoriedade e longevidade, sobre esta matéria tão reflectida:
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a
big pecker or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology
letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you
ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: nature's way of saying,
"No hard feelings..."
5. There are only two four letter words that
are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but
next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages in a man's life:
Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of
opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if
you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in
the dial were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get
to sleep with the enemy.
13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with
the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
15. Question: What are the three biggest
tragedies in a man's life?
Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and
the wife doesn't.
16. Question: Why do men find it difficult
to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your
troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
Send to the men who need a laugh and the
women with a special, unusual sense of humor.
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